Wednesday 15th October - LIFE

Life. 

Life does not prepare one for when we leave school.  Life does not prepare us for venturing into the big wondrous wide world.  Life does not help one decide a college or university to enroll in, let alone a choice of career path.  Life does not prepare you for motherhood.  Life has changes and turns with horrible unjust twists for us all to experience one way or another.  Indeed we have all experienced something, which makes one appreciate Life.   The tiniest detail in Life one appreciates a gentle dew drop on a flower, a spiders web slick with dew, a happy lick from a puppy, a baby’s firm grip on one’s thumb, sharing one’s favorite ice-cream.  Giving a good friend a hug, telling her you love her and one will be there for her. The tiniest experience in Life one appreciates and one is grateful. 

My last blog I mentioned Johnny would be on a 6 week of chemo due to the tumor and cancer shrinking.  False hopes, and  happiness that the chemo was doing it's job.    As of today Bobby has said Johnny's body is completely unable to handle the aggressive chemo.  Which is why she changed to a 3 week cycle and then a 6 week cycle.    

Today I am grateful to have another day in our Life with my darling dearest husband, Johnny.  Johnny has been in ICU since Monday afternoon.  I am so lucky to have him, you are lucky to have him around as your friend.  He could have left us all very swiftly Monday night.  Honest but true – strongly reiterated by the doctors here.  

Monday afternoon Johnny had one of the more complications and side effects called “Neutropenia”.   White blood cells are part of the body’s defense against infection.  When one say’s one is “Neutropenic” this means one has a low white blood cell count and one’s body's inability to fight infection may be impaired.  

Johnny started with uncontrollable shivers, teeth chattering body shuddering, along with a soaring temperature of 104.00.  Bobby was called and we were advised to go to ER.  Upon arrival, a series of questions and checks were taken. Hooked him up to three drip bags to hydrate the body. Nurses, Doctors buzzing around him.   It took three hours to get his temperature down from 104 to 98. Then came the bad news.  We were told he has no white cells a total count of 0.4.  Nothing.   Along with low-low-low blood pressure.    Blood pressure should be 120-over-80.  Johnny’s  was 64-over-41.  Dangerously low.   Gradually over night and over the course of Tuesday it increased slowly 74-over-42, 79-over-45, 83-over-47.  He was definitely in his boots (deep in the mud).

The second number needs to be higher it’s “the” indication blood is pumping throughout his body to his brain and organs, pumping-pumping blood.  Johnny’s was too low, with huge dehydration and fever it is indication of infection. Sepsis. Sepsis is a life-threatening illness that overwhelms the blood stream with bacteria. It is caused by an infection that can start anywhere in the body.  Cultures were taken and were positive for infection.  Now they need to figure out where the infection is.

A decision was made to keep Johnny overnight for observation, three days to be precise, if not longer, along with blood transfusion to be done overnight.  Monitoring his blood pressure and heart every 15 minutes.  Currently he has a series of EIGHT cables plugged into him along with the blood pressure device strapped to his leg. 

Tuesday, today he is anxious to depart, he believes I tricked him coming into the hospital, thinking it was just for blood work.   Funny boy.  Johnny has some recollection but it’s hazy or with heavy gaps in memory.   His actions are significantly slower, one would like to think that’s from the heavy medications they giving him.

As I sit here with gloves and mask on watching him rest, murmuring away he takes me down memory lane to when we first met in 1983 at Earls Court Station, London.  In that era I was a “Fame” Look a Like and Johnny dressed fashionably as a Duran Duran drummer. 

Johnny will not be up for visitors, you would have to glove up and wear a mask, to protect his immune system. No  Halloween parties.  But you can always send him your love and photographs and support via his email: johnnypye@yahoo.com  he does read them and appreciates you taking the time to write him, he is your friend too as well as my dearest love. 

I can’t thank Kavie von Husen enough.  Kavie has been my rock, my support.  Been with every step of the way since 4th July. Attending all the meetings of doctors and nurses.  Being in the field knowing the right questions to ask, thus we have clarity on Johnny’s health.  

Currently we are advised to take on Hospice or AIM.  He will need home care as he is a fall risk.  Decisions will be made in due course and of course Johnny will be part of that decision.